my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
