Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize