I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
