you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
