Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
