I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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