what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Operation Purity has been aborted
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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