I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
