we're blogging at a bar
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
