Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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