Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
