i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
and i looked up. we had an audience...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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