omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
