she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
