through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize