Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Randomize
