Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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