What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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