My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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