Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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