i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
