My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
