No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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