Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
