just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
