dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
