Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I CAN MOONWALK!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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