So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
