It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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