I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
