I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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