It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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