it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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