You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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