he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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