If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
