i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
