If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
