You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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