Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
