she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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