I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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