i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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