you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize