Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
