So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
