I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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