WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
