apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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