i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
