I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Randomize