I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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