he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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