Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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