drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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