69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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