Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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