So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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