I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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