38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
